Fear Of The Unknown

24 Apr
SweetOnVeg / Foter.com / CC BY

One day in March of this year I leapt  into the world of book writing. I picked up my tablet and downloaded a writing app and just wrote. I typed out words that just flowed with almost no struggle. I felt confident that maybe I could eventually become an author. I envisioned my book being in print and on Amazon where people would download MY book onto their Kindle. My excitement kept me motivated to keep going, and trying to reach my goal of 1,000 words a day. I didn’t have thoughts of getting rich quick; thoughts of succeeding at something and proving to myself that I really can accomplish something as huge as publishing a book.

Somehow I lost the WIP, as I was just about to cry I decided to learn from the mistake ( do not play around with icons on writing app, that’s how I lost it ) and start over. The loss was a blessing in disguise, I ended up with better ideas and I have learned one of the most important rules ‘Always Back Up Work’, which I now do.

I am now close to 10,000 words and my confidence is slowly leaving me. I am trying to figure out if my idea is actually publishable. Maybe it’s just the week I have been having but I am really getting down on myself. I have a fear of the unknown which prevents me from writing on some days, or I write only a couple hundred words.  I suppose most or even all authors have that fear that their manuscript will get rejected several times.

What if I write 60,000-75,000 words and NO publisher will accept it? Or if I decide to self-publish what if NO one buys it? It is a fantasy/vampire young adult book which has been written several times by other authors however, I am hoping the twist on my version will make it stand out from the rest.

All I have is hope. Hope that all this time and effort won’t be wasted. I am going to keep telling myself that “I won’t know outcome if I don’t try”.

Photo credit: SweetOnVeg / Foter.com / CC BY


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